I'm not here to provide a bunch of self-help book advice or anything, but I will write from personal experience. Daniel and I are approaching our three year dating anniversary, and when I look back on our relationship and think about the things that have made it work and why we've decided to get married, I can't ignore service and the similarities with which we approach it.
Daniel and I met through our church in Tulsa when we were wee little middle schoolers. We started getting to know one another better during the week of Vacation Bible School, which is when I remember first feeling attracted to Daniel. He was so good with the kids, and they loved him.
Fast forward six years.
We spent the first year and half of our relationship managing the whole long distance thing, so we had pretty separate lives when it came to school, extracurriculars, and serving. But when I moved to NWA last year, we got plugged into a really awesome church family, where we found a wonderful opportunity to serve in a preschool classroom on a weekly basis. And again, watching Daniel interact with little ones makes it impossible to stay mad at him. We are human, and we've had plenty of arguments and disagreements--even on the Sunday morning drive to church--GASP! But no matter how angry we are with each other beforehand, seeing him love on and take care of other people completely melts my stubborn heart and kind of makes me want to jump up and down shouting, "I'm marrying this man!" even though I couldn't stand him five minutes before that. So for us, serving has been a means to us not only falling in love with one another, but of reminding us why we love each other and the kind of couple God has called us to be together. Also, serving in the two year old room every week is great birth control! :) ...Sorry. Maybe.
Aside from the preschool, a few months ago Daniel and I were given the opportunity to lead and host a community group of young professionals. We said yes, but knew we wanted it to just be more of an opening of my home for food, fellowship, good conversation and prayer--and that is pretty much what it has become! We just start the discussion and it sorts itself out from there, because we are all at the same stage in life and none of us have it any more figured out than the others. It is SO wonderful to sit and talk over a team-made meal and the Word every Wednesday night, and, again, to watch Daniel prepare food and love on our peers and hear him share his heart.
Since we finished up our first Bible study guide last week, we celebrated by going bowling and getting ice cream last night. :)
Outside of church, I coach a middle school girls soccer team, and Daniel is really excited to begin helping me with that after he graduates. I've fallen madly in love with this group of thirteen-year-old drama queens, and I wasn't expecting that. I asked our athletic department early on in the fall if there was any need for an elementary school soccer coach. Most of my babysitting/teaching experience is with reallllly young kids or older high schoolers--I've never been sure how I'd be with the in-betweeners. In February I got an email offering me a middle school position. Sixth and seventh grade girls--oh goodness. Those were my weirdest years and resulted in my fuzziest memories--how would I manage all of the hormones?
God is funny, though. While I'm writing this kind of easy, kind of boring story of little tiny sugar-plum fairy-like soccer players in my head, He's throwing a firecracker in my lap in the form of thirty loud, boy-crazy ladies who have mostly never played soccer before and are growing so quickly, they aren't sure what to do with their limbs. But they are beautiful and hilarious and snarky in ways elementary schoolers aren't, and shouldn't be yet. Like I said, I'm in love, and I can't wait for Daniel to join me in this new journey.
We scored our first goal at Tuesday's very cold, very wet game! Such a small victory, but so so sweet.
Anyway, this post is not to say Daniel and I are superior because we enjoy loving people. Believe me, we are not, and we don't always feel like it. But it is to say that when we man up, humble ourselves and serve others, we are always so refreshed and so glad we did because God loves on us right back and gets us back on track in loving one another. And doing so multiple times a week is definitely right for us right now, because being engaged is tense and stressful, and we need that redirection all the time.
We need to be humbled just as often if not more than those we serve need to be helped.
